i haven't been bored in 6 months...

i've been so busy the past 6 months that i honestly haven't had a bored moment. but now that i am on break for Christmas; visiting family, supposed to be seeing old friends, "resting"... i find myself having no idea what to do with myself.

i badly want to call upon the depth in me to perhaps do some writing or have a revelation of some kind but i feel like i've lost my depth. i used to feel like a genuinely deep person. i had a friend tell me once that i was a "genuinely deep person" i wasn't pretending to be deep. can you lose that? can you lose an attribute? and if i'm no longer deep, does that make me shallow?

recently a friend of mine was giving a message at a local youth group and in it he said that the deep in us calls to the deep in God. (for those that are in God) when he said that i had already been thinking about the depth in me whether it was gone or missing or hiding or what. that sentence stuck with me. the deep in us calls to the deep in God. what exactly does that mean? my first thought was the word "calls" in that sentence would also mean "longs" that the deep in us long for the deep in God. a few days later at church someone read this:

Psalm 42 [NASB]
1As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So my soul pants for You, O God.
2My soul thirsts for God, for the living God;
When shall I come and appear before God?
3My tears have been my food day and night,
While they say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"
4These things I remember and I pour out my soul within me
For I used to go along with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God,
With the voice of joy and thanksgiving, a multitude keeping festival.
5Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him
For the help of His presence.
6O my God, my soul is in despair within me;
Therefore I remember You from the land of the Jordan
And the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.
7Deep calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls;
All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me.
8The LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime;
And His song will be with me in the night,
A prayer to the God of my life.
9I will say to God my rock, "Why have You forgotten me?
Why do I go (mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?"
10As a shattering of my bones, my adversaries revile me,
While they say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"
11Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.

not that it cleared everything up by any means. but it gave me a bible reference for what he said. i'm not worried about where my depth has gone. if it is gone...

perhaps i've grown so much in wisdom that the depth i once had seems minuscule anymore.

that'd be keen.